Saturday, the winner of season 2 of Bret's reality show, , made what turned out to be an incorrect statement about Bret's condition—TMZ reported that Ambre Lake told them Bret was awake and talking, but his father, Wally Sychak, later said that Ambre was mistaken.
While we wait and see what will happen with Bret's health, let's take a look back at some of the romances he's had in his life. Every rose has its thorn.) was also his ladyfriend for a brief time in the '80s, before Pam married Tommy Lee.
âOnce again, sheâs in Bretâs room, workinâ the magic.â Jessica is hysterically sobbing. In spite of this fashion gaffe, Ambre gets a pass from Bret because she is unlike anyone heâs ever dated before (read: over the age of 25), and because he wants to have sex with her after knowing her since forever. Jessica has stepped it up and showed a sexy side, so Bret gives her a pass.
The next morning, Big John tosses something on a cushion, and it says something about Megan and Schitzy Joeâs date. Daisy gets the next pass and is asked if she will stay in the house and rock his world. âThank God, one more day.â Bretâs obviously running out of nice things to say, so he gives Destiney a pass for doing a good job on the video. âI need to go home and take care of my business.â And so ends the ballad of Schitzy Joe. âMaybe somewhere in the future weâll find each other again.â They hug, and she cries.
Bret asks Schitzy Joe whether she wants to stay in the house. Despondent Bret says he would love for Megan to stay in the house and then tells the girls to âenjoy the night, alright?
To make matters worse, thereâs a system failure on the editorâs computer. Cut back to Team Skanky, where Daisy continues to talk. Iâm telling the editor, like, you know, you should keep this and cut there or whatever.
I didnât even know we could add Bret in there somehow, which is like, important. Letâs see what Team Skanky came up with for âGo That Far.â (1) Wayward schoolgirl Jessica pulls up to whorehouse where Destiney answers the door. (3) Jessica meets Daisy, who pole dances and makes out with her. â Daisy chimes in with, âHave fun on your date tomorrow,â and then sheâs sobbing, her poor little crooked fingers up near her eyes to protect any wayward mascara slippage. âUnless this is God, or Big John with a beer, I best not be interrupted right now.â Bret opens the door and thereâs Schitzy Joe, who is âvery hot, and very annoying.â He tells her to scram. â âThanks, Bret,â Schitzy Joe sarcastically remarks. Ambre is stalking Schitzy Joe upon her return from her date because Schitzy Joe busted in on Ambreâs date and is generally a mess.
Go snuggle with Big John and everything will be okay in the morning. âEven though Kristy Joe ruined Bretâs mood, and I didnât get my speech and my pass, what I deserved, Iâm just going to move on and focus on me and Bret.â You crazy evil tramp, you were going home!
You donât deserve anything but a lifetime supply of Hooked on Phonics cassettes.